When you wish upon a s t a r..

faith has carried me this far, i'll let fate bring me further, oh mann, why does my mouth remain shut, even as opportunities arise...is she taunting me to bring it further or am i just plain imagining things? arrrgh...i feel at such a loss...don't know what to do now....
been wondering what would have happened if twc was never used, or that i told her the truth that day, or what if that teacher didn't show the slide....maybe it never could have come to this, maybe we would still be talking normally....but i realised life's not about ifs or probable outcomes, afterall, it ain't all bout econs, its the uncertainity that makes it worth living =)
saw her at the bus stop that day...i stood behind the advertisment board outta sight till her bus came...haiz...another opportunity lost

watched the chinese show "turn left, turn right" last nite, felt quite touched by the whole thing, by how fate played with them, bringing them so close, yet not letting them see one another..haiz...guess its better that way, afterall ignorance is bliss

well, night cycling was fun, other than a few close calls, everyone was unharmed, physically that is hahahaha!!! orchard road in the morning is so freaking quiet, oni a couple of taxis, who frantically beeped at me as i dashed across the traffic intersection =p had a humongous "cup" of sugar cane juice at chomp chomp, $2.50!!!! oh mann....its was huge, the auntie actually gave me two straws la, but i finished it all by meself *oink oink* i'm such a pig!!!

hmmm....after that we went to newton circus where we ate some satay and stuff...was quite sleepy by then cuz we sorta lost the way hahahaha after all we are all easterners. anywaez, after we waited for cher li to finish his food which took amazingly long to finish we went to lau pa sat!!!! reached at round 3 am? oni a dessert stall and dim sum stall was open...was so freaking tired that i didn't realli eat anything,wanted to play zhong ji mi ma with a dropped siew mai, but it proven too sick, even by the standards of ODAC people hahahahahaahaha, awww mann, can't load the photo yet, sianz
then we went back to east coast where we just sat around at bedok jetty sleeping, talking cock, the seniors and the energetic people were singing!!! we waited for the sun rise, too bad it was not a nice one though, but it was nice enough, a sun rise always gives you time to think about stuff =)

finally found out what i like in her, not her physical appearance, but her amazing will, i'd say that she is stronger than most people in that aspect, where most people would buckle and collapse, she stills drives on, refusing help and god help me, i like that =)

first words with her for almost a week, felt so on high today...let this feeling never cease

night cycling tonite, tataz, hopefully nothing will happen to all of us =x

True friends trust each other with their deepest darkest secrets, "To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved" - George Macdonald.
Friends who understand one another will not be curious to dig up stuff about one another to be used as "blackmail" and taunts, no offence, but i really dislike those *censored*ers yeppz, at least that's what i think, thank ye all who have not asked me, i appreciate it

I want to jump and scream at times, to hold her hand and ask her to stop all this...all this pretence and ignorance is really getting to us...where we glance at one another and look away...can't stand this mental torture any longer...
"Why why why why why?" i keep asking myself, whenever i see her, millions of whys...

Aniwaez, today odac went to do SK again, mostly odac alone, sc did quite a good job considering we left halfway to arrange the rest of the thousand plus chairs, three cheers for SC! woohoo....CT did quite well also, though only a few were present...
what a day, lessons, tennis, rock-climbing, moving chairs, running 8km and doing 200 squats, woohoo, and we did it oh yea oh yea

aye, how come people are so interested about gossip? everywhere i go its the same, xcept probably in vs, where we were carefree from all this verbal evil that stained the world around us, haha, sounds so weird rite...plus all you S34 people out there, you all should learn to read properly *shakes head*

well, i'm glad that she is smiling, even though its not at me but its fine with me i guess...but can't we even talk normally? i'm tasting the consequences of the "leap of faith" and its slowly killing me...so i really really have to stop it where it is or i can't even concentrate on the simplest of things...

ponned my first lecture since i got into veejay, cuz we were late playing bridge, sources confirmed that the lecture was full of crap aniwae, so no deadweight loss, haha

yay! today we visited BMT, the bus was so freaking empty, the entire bus had just 6 S34 people in it, yup, the rest all pang sehed us, which i personally find is quite *censored* irresponsible, the teacher was quite *censored* pissed, but yea, haha

aye, being a commando means thinking less, haha, according to maj something, haha, the fitter you are does it mean that you think less??? aniwaez, army rations taste good!!!! no link, but what the heck

"I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all" - Alfred Tennyson

well, ain't got much to say, alfred above says it all...we should not forget any experiences that we have i guess...they just mould us to become what we are....hmm...at least i still look forward to going to sch other than rockclimbing and odac and animal welfare =)

project work is one of the worst things that MOE can come up with, seriously, it taps all the creative cells from your brain and leaves you as a bored pile of dust, yep you heard me all rite...so here's a bow of respect to those J2s who managed to live through it!

how come my butt is so heavy? i just can't manage a sit start lar...liddat comp (if i make it into one) sure die one lar, starting tile fall off i can realli go jump down....must train my grip...gambadeh!!!!!!

this is so darn depressing, things ain't always going according to plan...worse is now that i don't even have a plan...nothing to say right now, i just feel sad, bored and depressed...

finally drawing away from her, don't know how i managed it though but i did it yea, so congrats to myself....decisions are so much easier to make now, i feel almost refreshed!!!

INTIMIDATE AND DOMINATE, AQUILA'S NUMBER 1!!! haha, aquila won, men's, women's and overall champs, so congrats to all aquilan's! kena owned during tug-of-war, haha, somehow i think the PE teachers were helping the VIP, hmmm....cuz we were literally dragged along the field, haha sad rite =(
the mascots were so darn funni, with the horny ursa bear, the disgusting pegasus horse and violent aquila mascot, hahahahaha

went to madi grah yest, not quite the gay festival that people expected, it was so FUN, hahahahaha! 3 CHEERS TO ALL THE TJ PEOPLE!!!!! saw quite a few of the 28 people, was nice seeing them again and all the people in tj, especially the "retro" people, *cough cough* =) pang-sehed S34 class dinner for madi grah (sorri guys, haha), but simply can't miss this opp to go back to tj, hehe

well, guess i have to stop thinking about her, because she looks beautiful, haha, sheesh but yea...been doing my best to pull away from her, including giving her the cold shoulder...feels terrible, can't help giving her occassional glance during lectures, gotta stop doing that...at least we're not in the same CCA, mann, i'd fall off the wall, haha

nothing much to say realli, crapped out a PI last nite, which was the only thing i did, doubt that it fufilled any of the requirements, can't believe that i left out how to maintain the momentum...must be going nuts

yay, today was so slack, went home early for PW for "research", for once i got home before 5 pm, all rejoice!!! tomorrow is an even slacker day, no gp, all lectures(sleeptime...zzz) + rockclimbing :) + pe! isn't it a wonderful day? haha

hmm...must set a goal for meself, i aim to climb both overhangs tomorrow! haha, gotta train extra hard in order to challenge tj, haha, hope they ain't reading this, haha, tata, gotta go now!

hmm...was wondering if i should ask her if she is attached or not...both of us remained quiet when the group discussed how to ask a person if he or she is attached or not came up...dunno what that means...but then again, even if i asked, and the response is positive, there's no possibility that i am able to squeeze her into my already hectic life...haiz....

i feel like taking the back seat in my life now and let whatever life has to offer me guide me...afterall, its such a strain to drive on...i can see why people say that life is a difficult journey, with all the restraints on us, why can't life be simpler as we grow up? ignorance is bliss, i agree with that totally, if only i could turn back time

4 days since i last blogged...lotsa things to say and reflect on...sadly i have no time, haiz...its confusing that we are drawing together more and more despite my efforts to keep us apart...how can you tell the intentions of someone? i need to know...unless i ask =x which is quite impossible...she looks so sad these few days, wonder what's bothering her...hmm...but luckily she maintains her sense of humour haha...i want to have something going on with her, but then again i don't want to...haha, get the dilema i'm facing? nvm if you don't, i don't understand myself too...so i'm just cramming my life full of activities, hoping that i just drop dead when i get home, then i ain't gotta think anymore....

mann, i love rock-climbing, haha, see my nice shoes!!!! 119 bucks hokay, too bad the orange shoes don't fit my large feet boohoo, haha

AND LOOK AT THE AMAZING "PLAYGROUND" AT YISHUN SAFRA!!!!! its so freaking nice la, 2 stories of pure boldering, complete with aircon, exit signs (haha), bouldering walls, mats, people and cameras, its freaking nice, wish i could stay there, hahaha ,my future home is gonna be something like that hahahahahaha (i wish)

if you want to find passionate people i recommend that you go to climbasia, almost all the staff there have their life revolving around the rockwall, mann, their passion is amazing, i bet they made a lot of sacrifices....time, money, blood and relationships...but at the end of the day, they may be poor, but they are the happiest people in the world, and i take my hat off to them, pure respect.

today we all rejoiced and wept as the letters which contained our invitation to become provisional instructors were given to us...sadly some of us did not fufil the expectations of the teachers....which i think is utter rubbish. the teachers ain't with us throughout the entire OLC, and they don't know us that well, how can they pass judgement on them like that....its so unfair.

"Good judgment comes from experience, and often experience comes from bad judgment." -Rita Mae Brown the teachers did not realli experience what we had went through as whirlwind and should not pass their judgement like thatm its just so unfair...i know i am saying this a lot of times, but yea, its liddat

jts was quite fun, with all the crap and all bring traded during it, didn't have much to eat, haha as seen from the pics bread was our main course hahahaa with lotsa lotsa butter!!!

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